The Psychology of Being A New Mother, How You May Feel And What To Expect

The Psychology of Being A New Mother, How You May Feel And What To Expect

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Being a new mother can be the most amazing experience but it’s also difficult and exhausting. There’s no denying the negative side of it. This happens for a lot of reasons which I know you’ve heard before; You’re not getting sleep, your body is healing, you’re on the biggest hormonal roller-coaster of your life and so on.

It’s also a challenge because of the many situations associated with the delivery and the adjustment to being a new mama. Every situation is different and can cause its own set of issues like having a c section for instance. That’s going to be rougher on you all around.

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All of this can affect you physically and especially emotionally which creates tension and frustration during this special time. You’ll feel things you’ve never felt before and be seriously overwhelmed.

In this post, I want to talk about the emotions of your new role and how you can adjust to the overwhelm of it all. Being prepared for big feelings, highs and lows can help you feel a little bit better and you’ll know what you are going through is normal.

Let’s take a look at some of the key factors that create challenges for you and how you can cope with them.

Physiological changes

After delivery, You’ll experience a significant shift in your physical body and hormones because your body needs to readjust. You know that already, I don’t have to tell you but you’ll find it shocking and aggressive never the less. It’s just really intense.

Your body will begin to change really fast and this alone will exhaust you. But often times the rush from having a newborn will elate you so much that you won’t notice the exhaustion too much at first.

But your body needs to heal and you need to pay attention to yourself during this time as well as the baby. Try to eat well and get as much rest as possible. New mamas are often so excited after birth that they ignore many of their own needs but healing needs to be at the front of your mind. Consider yourself as well as your babe so that you’ll feel your very best!

The “baby blues”

Many women feel down or depressed after having a child. This can be associated with hormonal changes but also with some psychological and emotional factors. This is normal, although many women might feel guilty about this reaction. However, It usually doesn’t last very long and it will sorta come and go. Or it typically does.

the feelings of a new mother

If it persists talk to your doctor about possible solutions. You don’t want it to get out of control and you don’t have to deal with it alone.

Exhaustion

Giving birth is not easy but what comes after presents a significant challenge as well. A baby can change the existing household routines in unexpected ways and can mean that you are not getting enough sleep. A lack of sleep and an increased amount of responsibility can be exhausting.

Hang in there and get as much help as you can get. You’ll feel mentally and physically raw and having others there to support you is key to a smooth transition.

Emotional difficulties

Many mothers struggle to adjust to the new situation no matter how ready you thought you’d be, and it might bring a few emotional surprises you didn’t expect.  You may wonder if you are good enough and might feel inadequate, especially if reality doesn’t measure up to the “ideal” standards you might hear or read about. You may feel worried about your relationship with your partner or with the other children as well. A new family member can and will shift the dynamics of all your relationships and this can make your loved ones feel insecure.

Related Posts:

What To Really Expect During The first trimester.

What to expect at the hospital from check in to check out when having a baby

Labor Bag Essentials: What to take when having a new baby.

When you have several children the adjustment can be very difficult for them. This may cause you to feel a good bit of guilt. I know it did for me. My first son really struggled and it broke my heart. I really thought he was ready for a sibling but it was very upsetting for him overall so be prepared for this. You will need to give extra tender, loving care to your other child/children.

Balancing demands

As I’ve already mentioned if you have other children and responsibilities, then the demands on your time and energy increase. Your other babes will demand more from you and need increased attention to make sure they are not being replaced with the new baby. All this can be difficult to handle.

Make sure your partner helps as much as possible and gives extra attention to the other children while you take care of your baby.

You should try to carve out a little bit of time each day for your other children too, maybe 10 minutes alone with each one. Even this small amount of one on one time can make them feel better and more secure.

Ways To Cope With Your Surprising Emotions

There are many factors that affect a new mother that can make the first few months difficult. It’s a transitional period for all: the parents are adjusting to the new baby and changing the household rules and routines, the children are adjusting to a new sibling, and the baby is adjusting to a new world. So, what can you do to make this easier?

  Plan Ahead

Please know right away that it won’t go as planned and many parts of your experience will feel very unexpected even though you knew what would happen. Just understanding that you’re going to be in uncharted waters { for Yourself } will help you be just a little more light-hearted. This helps tremendously.

No comparing

The ideal mother doesn’t exist but if you run to the Web or listen to the tales of others and of their own achievements as parents, you may feel like you’re failing.

You should definitely avoid comparing yourself or your situation to others and accept that there are going to be difficulties: it doesn’t make you inadequate. Celebrating and acknowledging your own achievements is a key factor in feeling good about your experience.

Rest

As I’ve said before, this is one of the most important things you can do. Resting can be difficult but it is important to give enough opportunities to rest and recover.

You might want to drop or delegate a few of the household chores that are not as pressing or seek other solutions that will allow you to rest more. Your sleep and well-being are more important than having a perfectly clean kitchen, and no matter how hard you try mama, you’ll fall behind so just chill for awhile about it.

It also might be worth looking into things that can make one’s life easier, like getting food or groceries delivered or paying someone to clean up once a week.

Help and support

A very important aspect of all this is asking for and receiving enough support.

Your husband can help with chores or even other children in the home. You can have your mom or mother in law stay with you for the first few weeks to help out if that’s an option for you. I know that’s not for everyone though.

You can hire someone to come in and help a bit as I mentioned before.

You can have friends over for physical and emotional support. It’s always good to have someone to talk to and just expressing yourself fully can be a great mental release.

If things are really bad in some way, Physically or emotionally then you can contact your doctor for help. Don’t get too deep you know? They can help support you and give you the help you need.

Most importantly just be prepared for the ups and downs and the vast array of feelings that will bubble up that you’ve never experienced before. Embrace those happy feelings and when you start to feel really tired or down then that’s your cue.

It’s your cue to get more rest immediately, ask for some help or eat a big hearty meal. Maybe take a long hot shower then watch some tv and don’t worry about those dishes in the sink. I know that’s hard but you have to learn to prioritize. It will eventually get easier.

I want to wish you all the luck and love in the world mama and take one day at a time. It will get better and you’ll feel stronger soon enough!

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The psychology of being a new mother

What To Expect When You Go To The Hospital To Have Your Baby from Check In To Check Out

What To Expect When You Go To The Hospital To Have Your Baby from Check In To Check Out

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This Post May Contain Affiliate Links. 

What to Expect at the Hospital Before, During, and After Labor

 Having a baby is very exciting but can also feel pretty terrifying, especially if it’s your first time. The closer you get to your special day, the more anxiety you can begin to have and that’s ok. It’s perfectly normal.

I remember my first baby, I was over the moon but I had a lot of very real fear. One way I helped calm myself was learning about what comes next and what I could expect each step of the way. Knowing what was coming helped me feel more prepared and ready.

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In this post, I want to shed some light on the things that you can expect on your journey to bringing your child into this world. Hopefully, it will help you enjoy the whole process a bit more.

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The Check-In

 This is the easy part, at least compared to everything else. Chances are that you’ll already be in labor at this point unless you had a scheduled induction or c-section, so nothing is really easy from this point forward. Fortunately, hospitals are well-oiled machines and the staff members will know exactly what to do to get you started. They will quickly check you in and take you to the triage room or labor and delivery room depending on whether or not you have a scheduled delivery.

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Triage Room

This is where they will check you to see if you are really in labor and how far along things are coming.

Once they ask you some questions to see what’s going on they will connect you to a fetal monitor to check the baby’s heart rate and monitor your contractions. The nurses will then decide if you are ready to be admitted for delivery. If they decide you are not, they may send you home. That may be a real bummer if you’re ready to meet your babe but It does happen sometimes.

But don’t worry if you do get sent home, you’ll be headed back real soon.

what to expect at the hospital when giving birth

 

Labor and Delivery Room

 This is where you’ll be staying until you have your baby so you can settle in and get comfortable. { Hopefully, you’ll have taken a tour of the hospital beforehand so you’ll know what to expect and it will meet your needs. It’s important that you do this so you’ll be confident that you’ll be happy with your chosen hospital and Environment. This will give you a feel for the staff as well. }

Once you settle in Nurses will be monitoring your labor and the heart rate of the baby, doing everything they can to keep you comfortable. You can decide to shower or bathe if this helps you manage stress or pain. You’ll also notify the nurses whether you are deciding to have a natural childbirth or use pain medication. If you decide on using an epidural, you will be briefed on that and administered it in this room.

You’ll be working with multiple nurses during this time, and it’s likely you’ll even be there long enough to warrant a shift change, but all of the nurses will be familiar with your pregnancy and progress. Be friendly and get to know your nurses, this will help make the experience better for everyone.

Doulas, midwives, and family members are generally allowed in the delivery room, but each hospital varies on the number they allow, so you may want to check beforehand. Chances are they aren’t going to allow you to bring in 20 friends to cheer you on in your delivery, ready to pop the bubbly, so make sure you choose your family members wisely. You don’t want a know-nothing know-it-all making things uncomfortable for everybody, do you?

Also as you can imagine, things get pretty PERSONAL when having a baby… you’ll likely poop on the table and more so keep that in mind when you enthusiastically invite all your buds.

Related Posts:

The Psychology Of being A New Mother, How you’ll feel and What To Expect 

Labor Bag Essentials, What you’ll really need at the hospital plus Printable Checklist!

What To Really Expect During The First Trimester

Delivery

 This is it (for better or for worse)! After playing the waiting game, the pressure may begin to get too intense to handle. You’ll start to feel the need to push but you need to wait till you are exactly 10 centimeters of dilation before you start. So Don’t get too eager to push, as this could cause injury if you aren’t ready.

You’ll have to call the nurse and they will come with the OBGYN. Depending on the time that you are in the hospital, it may not be your regular OBGYN, but rest assured knowing that they will be perfectly qualified and ready to assist you.

Often times The OBGYN practice you go to have several docs on hand and you can end up with any one of them during your birth. You will likely be introduced to each one throughout your prenatal care so you will be at least a bit familiar with the one you end up with if it’s not your own.

So here you go… This is the part that many people dread. We’ve all seen the movies with the yelling and the screaming and the swearing. And they aren’t always wrong. However, many people report that the contractions leading up to the actual delivery are more painful than the pushing itself. At least up until the end when you push the baby out.  This part is known as the ” ring of fire ” and can be pretty intense. If you’ve had an epidural it won’t bother you at all but if you haven’t, well it can be pretty hardcore but you’re almost there and it’s all good mama. Just keep going, you’re tough and you can do it!

Because every woman is different, you may only need a few pushes to get that baby out. Other women may need a lot more. Either way, just stick with it and you will eventually be staring at the newest, beautiful member of your family.

Wondering What you should take to the hospital? Well, I wrote an article about that and you can read it here.

I also created a labor kit from kit.com For expectant mamas. Check it out below!

 

Post-Delivery

 

Congratulations, you did it and you’re amazing!

After you deliver, the baby will be cleaned and given a health evaluation by the doctors.

However, as long as he or she seems healthy, you’ll be handed your baby and given some time to cherish the moment and bond with the newborn. This can be a therapeutic decision for both you and your child, and you’ll want to discuss these options with your doctor before delivery. It is your choice to refuse certain treatments that happen immediately after birth, and there is no harm in spending the first hour or so with your baby as long as the doctors confirm that the breathing, color, and tone are healthy.

I held my little ones for a couple hours and began teaching them to breastfeed before they were even weighed so please know that this is an option if you picked a good hospital. Unfortunately, some hospitals and docs can be pretty pushy so that’s something to think about when picking your OBGYN and facility.

What to expect when having a baby at hospital

 

At some point soon though the doctors will want to weigh the baby and give an APGAR score which consists of appearance, pulse, grimace, activity, and respiration. You will then be sent to a recovery or postpartum room. You’ll stay here for two days after vaginal birth and up to four days after a c-section. Your doctor will check with you and the baby every day to make sure he or she is adjusting healthily and that you are on track to leave the hospital on time. More and more hospitals are allowing family members to stay in these rooms overnight, allowing for more time to bond and learn.

My husband always stayed the first night at least and then left the second. I loved this personal time alone with my new baby and always enjoyed these hospital stays. It’s like a mini vacation really when you need it most and you can get to know your babe without worrying too much about your house or visitors and all that. It’s nice. So don’t be in too much of a rush to get home mama. Enjoy this time and these new, special moments.

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In the next few days, You will probably be exhausted, dehydrated, and sore – and completely elated! and That’s totally okay because one look at your child and all these problems will melt away. Just make sure to drink fluids, keep yourself and your baby well-fed, and connect with your doctors and nurses with any issues or questions. Before you know it, you will be out of the hospital and on to your new life as a mom!

Good Luck Mama, It’s a wild but fulfilling ride and we hope you enjoy every second of it!

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What To Expect At the hospital when having a baby

 

 

 

 

 

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