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Being a new mother can be the most amazing experience but it’s also difficult and exhausting. There’s no denying the negative side of it. This happens for a lot of reasons which I know you’ve heard before; You’re not getting sleep, your body is healing, you’re on the biggest hormonal roller-coaster of your life and so on.

It’s also a challenge because of the many situations associated with the delivery and the adjustment to being a new mama. Every situation is different and can cause its own set of issues like having a c section for instance. That’s going to be rougher on you all around.

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All of this can affect you physically and especially emotionally which creates tension and frustration during this special time. You’ll feel things you’ve never felt before and be seriously overwhelmed.

In this post, I want to talk about the emotions of your new role and how you can adjust to the overwhelm of it all. Being prepared for big feelings, highs and lows can help you feel a little bit better and you’ll know what you are going through is normal.

Let’s take a look at some of the key factors that create challenges for you and how you can cope with them.

Physiological changes

After delivery, You’ll experience a significant shift in your physical body and hormones because your body needs to readjust. You know that already, I don’t have to tell you but you’ll find it shocking and aggressive never the less. It’s just really intense.

Your body will begin to change really fast and this alone will exhaust you. But often times the rush from having a newborn will elate you so much that you won’t notice the exhaustion too much at first.

But your body needs to heal and you need to pay attention to yourself during this time as well as the baby. Try to eat well and get as much rest as possible. New mamas are often so excited after birth that they ignore many of their own needs but healing needs to be at the front of your mind. Consider yourself as well as your babe so that you’ll feel your very best!

The “baby blues”

Many women feel down or depressed after having a child. This can be associated with hormonal changes but also with some psychological and emotional factors. This is normal, although many women might feel guilty about this reaction. However, It usually doesn’t last very long and it will sorta come and go. Or it typically does.

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the feelings of a new mother

If it persists talk to your doctor about possible solutions. You don’t want it to get out of control and you don’t have to deal with it alone.

Exhaustion

Giving birth is not easy but what comes after presents a significant challenge as well. A baby can change the existing household routines in unexpected ways and can mean that you are not getting enough sleep. A lack of sleep and an increased amount of responsibility can be exhausting.

Hang in there and get as much help as you can get. You’ll feel mentally and physically raw and having others there to support you is key to a smooth transition.

Emotional difficulties

Many mothers struggle to adjust to the new situation no matter how ready you thought you’d be, and it might bring a few emotional surprises you didn’t expect.  You may wonder if you are good enough and might feel inadequate, especially if reality doesn’t measure up to the “ideal” standards you might hear or read about. You may feel worried about your relationship with your partner or with the other children as well. A new family member can and will shift the dynamics of all your relationships and this can make your loved ones feel insecure.

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When you have several children the adjustment can be very difficult for them. This may cause you to feel a good bit of guilt. I know it did for me. My first son really struggled and it broke my heart. I really thought he was ready for a sibling but it was very upsetting for him overall so be prepared for this. You will need to give extra tender, loving care to your other child/children.

Balancing demands

As I’ve already mentioned if you have other children and responsibilities, then the demands on your time and energy increase. Your other babes will demand more from you and need increased attention to make sure they are not being replaced with the new baby. All this can be difficult to handle.

Make sure your partner helps as much as possible and gives extra attention to the other children while you take care of your baby.

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You should try to carve out a little bit of time each day for your other children too, maybe 10 minutes alone with each one. Even this small amount of one on one time can make them feel better and more secure.

Ways To Cope With Your Surprising Emotions

There are many factors that affect a new mother that can make the first few months difficult. It’s a transitional period for all: the parents are adjusting to the new baby and changing the household rules and routines, the children are adjusting to a new sibling, and the baby is adjusting to a new world. So, what can you do to make this easier?

  Plan Ahead

Please know right away that it won’t go as planned and many parts of your experience will feel very unexpected even though you knew what would happen. Just understanding that you’re going to be in uncharted waters { for Yourself } will help you be just a little more light-hearted. This helps tremendously.

No comparing

The ideal mother doesn’t exist but if you run to the Web or listen to the tales of others and of their own achievements as parents, you may feel like you’re failing.

You should definitely avoid comparing yourself or your situation to others and accept that there are going to be difficulties: it doesn’t make you inadequate. Celebrating and acknowledging your own achievements is a key factor in feeling good about your experience.

Rest

As I’ve said before, this is one of the most important things you can do. Resting can be difficult but it is important to give enough opportunities to rest and recover.

You might want to drop or delegate a few of the household chores that are not as pressing or seek other solutions that will allow you to rest more. Your sleep and well-being are more important than having a perfectly clean kitchen, and no matter how hard you try mama, you’ll fall behind so just chill for awhile about it.

It also might be worth looking into things that can make one’s life easier, like getting food or groceries delivered or paying someone to clean up once a week.

Help and support

A very important aspect of all this is asking for and receiving enough support.

Your husband can help with chores or even other children in the home. You can have your mom or mother in law stay with you for the first few weeks to help out if that’s an option for you. I know that’s not for everyone though.

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You can hire someone to come in and help a bit as I mentioned before.

You can have friends over for physical and emotional support. It’s always good to have someone to talk to and just expressing yourself fully can be a great mental release.

If things are really bad in some way, Physically or emotionally then you can contact your doctor for help. Don’t get too deep you know? They can help support you and give you the help you need.

Most importantly just be prepared for the ups and downs and the vast array of feelings that will bubble up that you’ve never experienced before. Embrace those happy feelings and when you start to feel really tired or down then that’s your cue.

It’s your cue to get more rest immediately, ask for some help or eat a big hearty meal. Maybe take a long hot shower then watch some tv and don’t worry about those dishes in the sink. I know that’s hard but you have to learn to prioritize. It will eventually get easier.

I want to wish you all the luck and love in the world mama and take one day at a time. It will get better and you’ll feel stronger soon enough!

If you liked this post or think you know someone who will find it useful please share it with your friends. That would really make my day! You can share with the buttons to the left or below.

Sharing Time! How did you cope when you first had your babe? Any suggestions for the other mamas out there? Leave a comment below to let us know!

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The psychology of being a new mother

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