I’m just going to come right out and say it. Getting visitors after having a baby is not fun.
Of course, everyone wants to see but you’re tired, excited, and overwhelmed.
It can be ok for about 15 minutes but after that, it’s too much, especially if you have a big family and everyone wants to come.
It can feel like you’re having to put on a show and it’s stressful for the staff too, not to mention your poor little newborn.
Your family will have plenty of time to see the babe in the near future.
But this is a delicate situation. Sometimes family feels put off when you ask them not to come.
Below are some easy ways you can deal with this situation.
Keep scrolling to find out how!
Want Freebies For You And Your Baby? Get $330 Worth Of Gear! I have partnered with many companies to give you the best baby freebies online including Nursing Pillow, Pregnancy Pillows, Nursing Covers, Baby Leggings, Baby Clothes and so much more. You can find out how to get your freebies in this post right here.
****This post may contain affiliate links at no extra cost to you that help us keep our blog up and running. Thanks.
How to Deal with Visitors after Childbirth
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Just Say No
For whatever reason, if you decide you’re not ready for visitors, it’s okay to say no.
Do not sacrifice your peace of mind and family bonding time for the sake of being polite.
It can be tough telling family and friends to stay away, but a simple statement on social media or through text can let others know that you need
privacy right now, that you’re taking personal time, and not accepting visitors yet.
Let them know you’ll reach out soon and leave it at that.
**Must Read: Labor Just Started: What You Need To Know Now
It is a good idea to let everyone know before the big day if you can. That way they will all know what to expect and none of them will plan to come to the hospital in the first place.
You’re under no obligation to please other people right now and I give you full permission to be selfish on baby’s behalf 😉 Not that you need anyone’s permission.
If you have a family that is pushing back, give your spouse permission to play ‘bad cop’. Be firm in your decision, take the amount of time you need and you won’t regret it one bit.
***Have You taken a prenatal birth course yet? Don’t have time? Here’s the best Premium online birthing course and the first part of it’s totally free! You will learn absolutely everything you need to know and it will help tremendously so make sure you sign up. A Class is a must and I think the online ones are the best. Here’s a free Birth Planner Too!
Set Clear Boundaries for Visitors
If you do decide to have visitors you need to make sure everyone is on the same page.
To make visitation as easy as possible it’s important to establish clear boundaries before the baby comes, and reinforce them when your babe arrives.
If there is any conflict or concern about who will be at the hospital, it’s best to address that before delivery.
Decide who will be in the delivery room and make it clear beforehand.
Make tough decisions now to avoid future problems; you want a peaceful environment for yourself and your little one.
Come up with a plan for what visitation looks like at the hospital, and then at home.
Although you have total freedom to change your mind, having clear boundaries in place ensures everyone knows how to meet your needs.
Remember, people want to visit and be there to support you because they care, but that doesn’t make you obligated.
***Related Posts:
- 5 Signs Your Baby Will Be Born In The Next few Days
- 5 Things That Happen When You Have An Epidural That Know One Tells You About
- 12 Things You Need To Know About Epidurals Before Having One | Epidural Side Effects
- 18 Lifesaving C-Section Recovery Tips
- How To Eliminate Your “Mummy Tummy” After A C-Section
- Serious Signs Of Preeclampsia
- The 4 Stages Of Labor
Limit Visiting Time
Now let’s talk about home visits.
The first several weeks when you’re home will be so tiresome. Your hormones will hit you like a tidal wave and you’ll be tired, happy, crying, and full of every other imaginable emotion.
Trust me, it’s intense (been there three times myself) and you’ll only know what I mean once you have experienced it.
The first several weeks are also an important time for family bonding, Mom’s healing, and the baby’s transition into the world.
Your first priority is taking care of baby’s needs ( and yours ).
Limit visitors to 30 minutes at a time and spread out visits. You don’t have to do all those visits on the same day.
Bringing baby home and adapting to this new person and new schedule can be exhausting for a recovering Mom; just holding a
conversation can be a challenge.
Keeping visitation short ensures you aren’t overdoing it and baby doesn’t get overwhelmed. Limiting that time frees you up to tackle the important things like feeding, diaper changes, and bonding.
Ask your spouse to help keep everyone on schedule and don’t feel bad when you have to say Goodbye when those 30 minutes are up.
You’re doing what’s best for you and your family, and that is the priority right now.
Allow Close Friends and Family Only
During the early days, I highly recommend only allowing close family and friends to visit.
Choose people who are supportive, non-judgmental, and who will respect your wishes during this time.
Anyone who will disrupt the peaceful and healing environment you need right now doesn’t need to be there.
It can be a big help having someone stay with you after baby is born but if you do, choose your help wisely.
***Good To Know Stuff:
Postpartum Vaginal Care, You Seriously Need To Know This..
How To Survive Postpartum Pain Without Crying
Let People Help
Most people are well-intentioned, want to help you during this time, and are looking for a way to contribute and be part of this special time in your life.
Let them. Make a to-do list and if someone asks if they can help, give them a job.
Simple tasks like dishes, taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom, or helping with the other kids can be a life-saver for you right now.
Let them help you and thank them for it.
The more people are kept busy the less ‘handsy’ they get with baby and less likely they are to overstay their welcome.
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Pregnancy is a whirlwind event and something most women really enjoy. I know I did and I wish that happiness for every pregnant mama.
One thing we don’t like to think about is something going wrong. It’s the silent thing we worry about. All the ‘ What ifs ‘.
One of the most common issues that can occur is Preeclampsia. It can be very serious and devastating.
The best thing you can do to prevent this is seeing your doc and getting great Prenatal Care.
They monitor your symptoms and health at every appointment for a variety of reasons, but very specifically for this.
You should know the symptoms yourself because sometimes it shows up out of know where suddenly.
Taking your blood pressure daily will go a long way in keeping you aware if something shows up. You can get a blood pressure cup here.
Read the list of symptoms below so you can keep an eye on your health in between appointments. You want to catch this as soon as it starts happening if it occurs.
****Want Freebies For You And Your Baby? Get $330 Worth Of Gear! I have partnered with many companies to give you the best baby freebies online including Nursing Pillow, Pregnancy Pillows, Nursing Covers, Baby Leggings, Baby Clothes and so much more. You can find out how to get your freebies in this post right here.
By the way, this post contains affiliate links at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Serious Signs Of Preeclampsia
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High Blood Pressure
High blood pressure, especially during pregnancy, can be a warning sign of bigger issues; such as Preeclampsia.
Preeclampsia usually occurs after the 20th week of pregnancy, in the last trimester, and often presents as a sudden increase in blood pressure.
One of the major problems that occur with high blood pressure in pregnancy is a decrease in blood flow to the placenta. It’s very bad news.
When the placenta doesn’t get enough blood, the baby doesn’t get enough oxygen or the essential nutrients it needs to thrive.
High blood pressure is dangerous for both you and your baby and should be taken seriously.
When you have high blood pressure you have a greater risk of infection, and can lead to prematurity and the potential for future breathing problems.
Related:
- 5 Things That Happen When You Have An Epidural That Know One Tells You About
- 12 Things You Need To Know About Epidurals Before Having One | Epidural Side Effects
- Reasons Why You Should Pick a midwife instead of an ob/gyn
- 18 Lifesaving C-Section Recovery Tips
- How To Eliminate Your “Mummy Tummy” After A C-Section
- The 4 Stages Of Labor
- How To Reduce Your Fear Of Childbirth
Blurred Vision
Vision changes during pregnancy can be another serious sign of preeclampsia.
The most common visual changes are blurred vision, flashing lights, light sensitivity, auras, and spots.
Vision changes can be an indication of cerebral edema (or swelling of the brain) and should be taken very seriously.
**Have You taken a prenatal birth course yet? Don’t have time? Here’s the best Premium online birthing course and the first part of it’s totally free! You will learn absolutely everything you need to know and it will help tremendously so make sure you sign up. A Class is a must and I think the online ones are the best. Here’s a free Birth Planner Too!
If you are experiencing vision changes during pregnancy I recommend you seek medical attention right away; DON’T WAIT.
Swelling
It’s not uncommon during pregnancy to experience swelling, especially in the feet during the last trimester.
However, severe swelling of any kind or swelling that occurs in the hands, face or around the eyes could be a sign of preeclampsia edema or a warning of other complications.
If you experience a rapid onset of fluid-retention, pitting or discoloration of the skin, it’s important to contact your provider right away.
Because of the complications associated with preeclampsia it’s important that you know the signs and symptoms and seek out care as early as possible.
Shortness of Breath
Experiencing shortness of breath can be a sign of elevated blood pressure or fluid collecting in the lungs, a rare but serious condition known as pulmonary edema.
Both of these can be a symptom of preeclampsia and should be discussed with your provider.
Combined with mental confusion, heightened anxiety, and a racing pulse, shortness of breath can be a sure sign of something going on.
Abdominal Pain
Mild stomach pain, cramps or discomfort is common during pregnancy especially during the first 12 weeks while your body is adjusting.
Most of the time mild pain is nothing to worry about. However, persistent abdominal pain or a sudden increase in pain should be checked out.
Preeclampsia can present as abdominal or stomach pain that usually occurs on the right side.
Vomiting combined with abdominal pain can be another serious sign of preeclampsia.
If you are experiencing any pain that is severe or outside the norm talk to your healthcare provider right away.
Other signs of preeclampsia include sudden weight gain, low back pain, protein in the urine, increased reflexes, and nausea or vomiting.
Delivery is not the cure. Preeclampsia can occur after delivery too and puts Mom at risk.
Postpartum preeclampsia can lead to seizures, stroke, organ damage and even death.
Even after delivery, if you are experiencing high blood pressure or other symptoms, please get care right away.
You should take your health very seriously while pregnant and prenatal ( and postnatal ) care are an absolute must.
If you are at greater risk of preeclampsia having a blood pressure cup at home is a good idea. You can find one right here on Amazon.
I wish you all the best mama!
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Labor is so exciting! You’ve finally made it and you’re about to meet your baby!
I remember it well ( I’ve had three ) and there’s nothing like that feeling. I miss it so much.
But it is also pretty terrifying and even when you feel prepared it can seem very overwhelming.
So below I have created a list of things for you to do and keep in mind right after your labor starts. There’s also a list of resource posts about labor somewhere down there too. I suggest you read all of them.
This will help you feel like you have it all under control ( and you do mama, you do..)
Keep scrolling to learn more!
****This post may contain affiliate links at no extra cost to you that help us keep our blog up and running. Thanks.
Want Freebies For You And Your Baby? Get $330 Worth Of Gear! I have partnered with many companies to give you the best baby freebies online including Nursing Pillow, Pregnancy Pillows, Nursing Covers, Baby Leggings, Baby Clothes and so much more. You can find out how to get your freebies in this post right here.
Labor just started: What You Need To Do Now
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Stay Calm:
I know it’s easier said than done but it’s important that you stay calm and don’t panic. Labor isn’t going to stop no matter what you do so it’s important to stay focused and conserve your energy.
Before you go into labor practice deep breathing exercises that will help you when the big day comes.
It’s the first thing you can do to center yourself when you realize what’s happening.
If you’re really worried about labor, take a look at the post ” How to take the fear out of Childbirth “. It will really help you get perspective on labor and what it’s like.
Monitor Your Contractions:
During labor your contractions will come regularly and get closer together, they will also get stronger and more intense.
It’s important to monitor it so that you know it’s real labor. If the contractions are irregular it could be Braxton Hicks. Learn more about that here.
Monitoring your contractions can help you, and your doctor, determine if it’s time for you to head to the hospital.
You’ll want to know how far apart they are and how long they last.
***Have You taken a prenatal birth course yet? Don’t have time? Here’s the best Premium online birthing course and the first part of it’s totally free! You will learn absolutely everything you need to know and it will help tremendously so make sure you sign up. A Class is a must and I think the online ones are the best. Here’s a free Birth Planner Too!
Every woman is different and there is no way to predict how long labor will last or how quickly the baby will come.
It’s important to listen to your body during this time.
Call Your Partner:
You may want to hold off calling everyone you know but call your spouse or birth partner right away.
Call them early on so they can be there in case labor escalates quickly.
Remember, not only will you need their support during this time, they’ll want to be there.
This is going to be a memorable moment for your relationship.
Other important Labor Resources you should definitely read:
Call Your Midwife:
If you’re having a home birth call and let your midwife know that you believe labor has started and what you’re to do next.
Having a Midwife has many advantages. Learn about them here.
Call The Sitter:
If you have other children at home, call the sitter.
If you have pets you’ll want to make sure they are taken care of.
If you’re delivering at the hospital, you might want to consider a house sitter.
This is the time to make sure all the ‘stuff’ is being handled so that you can relax and focus on labor and delivery.
Make Sure Your Hospital Bag Is Ready:
Technically you should already have it ready but just double check you have everything.
Your partner will also need a bag and you’ll need your baby’s things.
Here’s a great list for your hospital bag that you can use.
Call The Doctor:
When contractions become regular, contact your doctor and let them know you are in labor.
Your Doc will want to know how far apart and how long your contractions are.
Once they decide how close you are they’ll let you know when the best time to head to the hospital is.
However, if you are leaking amniotic fluid, have vaginal bleeding or decreased fetal movement it’s important to head to the hospital right away and contact the doctor’s office in route.
If at any time you are uncertain or sense something is wrong, call your doctor.
Get Ready To Go:
Check to make sure you have everything you need. Your bag should be packed but you’ll also want to make sure you have car keys, money for parking, your phone charger, and your doctor and insurance information.
Remember That You Are In Control:
Take a few minutes on the way to the hospital to enjoy the silence, collect your thoughts and get into a good headspace.
Once you arrive at the hospital things can get noisy and sometimes happen very quickly.
It can be overwhelming especially if it’s your first time giving birth.
Make sure that your doctor knows your expectations ahead of time. This can be done by providing a birthing plan. You can find a free one right here.
The doctor and nurse are there to help you but you are the one in control. Communicate your needs clearly with your nurse but always be kind and respectful.
It’s important to develop a good rapport with the hospital staff. Respect ensures that your voice gets heard when it matters the most.
I hope this helps you feel more prepared for your labor and I wish you all the best!
Make sure you read the labor resources I listed above. They will make you a labor expert and you’ll definitely be ready for what’s to come!
One more thing… Don’t get caught unprepared for Postpartum. A lot of women forget to prep for this part of their journey and it causes unnecessary pain and struggles during a time when they should be enjoying their new baby. I know because It happened to me.
For some reason, postpartum preparation is left out of most education and conversation.
Check out the two posts below so you’ll be completely ready for what’s to come!
Postpartum Vaginal Care, You Seriously Need To Know This..
How To Survive Postpartum Pain Without Crying
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Having a baby can seem super scary the first time, or even the second time.
Just the idea of it and all the stories we’ve all heard are enough to scare anyone half to death.
But for the most part, childbirth is pretty easy. That’s right.
Sure there’s pain involved but most of the time birthing goes smoothly.
Your instincts will kick in and between that and the medical staff guiding you, you’ll be a birthing warrior with one agenda in mind.
But for now, I know there’s a lot to think about and you may feel worried.
Below is a list of things that will help you feel more prepared and it will really take the fear out of having a baby.
Check it out below!
By the way, this post contains affiliate links at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
How To Reduce Your Fear Of Childbirth
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Taking A Course
Childbirth classes are the absolute most effective way to take the fear out of the experience.
A Labor and Delivery Nurse will tell you exactly what to expect and how to get through the whole ordeal as easily as possible.
If you don’t have time to go to a class you can take one online. It’s convenient and you can take your time or do it in one sitting.
Here’s the best prenatal class online and the first parts of it are totally free! You will learn absolutely everything you need to know and it will help tremendously so make sure you sign up.
A Class is a must and I think the online ones are the best because you can do it whenever you’re ready.
Want FREE BABY STUFF? I have partnered with many companies to give you the best baby freebies online including Nursing Pillow, Pregnancy Pillows, Nursing Covers, Baby Leggings, Baby Clothes and so much more. You can find out how to get your freebies in this post right here.
Set Up A Birth Plan
Setting up a birth plan will help you feel in control of your situation. This is a good thing. You will let the staff know what you expect and your preferences for the birth and your environment.
Once you’ve taken your prenatal class you can begin creating your birthing plan. There are some great templates online. Here’s a good one that covers everything and it’s free to download.
Read A Book On Childbirth
Reading a book about giving birth will help put your mind at ease. It will give you an idea of exactly what happens and that will make you feel more prepared.
You should check out Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. She’s a midwife who’s written lots of good books on breastfeeding and birth. It’s the best and you can find it here on Amazon.
Be Fit And Ready
Being fit and ready for birth will go a long way when it comes to making the experience easier.
Fit mamas have shorter and less painful births.
You can take a pregnancy fitness program like the Belly Only Program. This program was created by a fitness expert that specializes in pregnancy so take a look!
Related Posts:
- 15 Signs Your Baby Will Be Born In The Next few Days
- 5 Things That Happen When You Have An Epidural That Know One Tells You About
- 12 Things You Need To Know About Epidurals Before Having One | Epidural Side Effects
- 18 Lifesaving C-Section Recovery Tips
- How To Eliminate Your “Mummy Tummy” After A C-Section
- Omega 3 Fatty Acid Supplements And Pregnancy
- 13 Ways To Cope With Labor Pain Without An Epidural
Talk To A Friend
Talking to a friend or even your mother about your fears can help tremendously. They will tell you they’ve been there and it all turned out just fine.
Because it will.
You’re Were Made For This
Women are made for giving birth. Your body is a birthing machine. The fact that millions of women that came before you have successfully given birth should bring you some comfort.
Your body will take over and it will do its thing so try not to worry and trust in your body’s natural ability to lead you.
Choose The Right Practitioner Because It Really Matters
Finding the right doctor or midwife will mean so much.
Read reviews and meet them before you decide. Make sure it’s someone who puts you at ease and seems really empathetic.
You’ll want someone who is in line with your beliefs about birth. That way you know you’ll have the right support.
Possibly Consider A Doula
A Doula is someone who can give you added, expert support during pregnancy and childbirth.
Women have been serving others in childbirth for many centuries and have proven that support from another woman has a positive impact on the labor process.
They can help provide emotional and Physical support during the birthing process and many women find their presence invaluable. They often provide pain relief and comfort to the mama in the way of massage, breathing and relaxation techniques and help with positioning.
You can learn more about Doulas here.
Be Prepared
Having your hospital bag and belongings packed well in advance will lend you some comfort. Knowing you’re ready when it does happen can help keep your mind at ease.
Make sure you have everything you need with this hospital list download.
Have The Right Support
Having a good support system is key inside and outside of the delivery room.
Make sure you surround yourself with friends and family that are willing to listen and comfort you when you have questions before the big day.
But the ones you bring in during labor and delivery matter the most. You’ll likely want your partner and maybe your mama { I Did! } to be present to help and comfort you.
Make sure they know your fears ahead of time and that they have a calm and cool attitude.
If they become a nervous wreck then that will only stress you out more so they need to know to keep their cool no matter what and be a support system for YOU.
Just Breathe
It sounds simple enough. But when we are nervous or absolutely panicked we often hold our breath. This will make you that much more scared and it will make giving birth harder too.
So being conscious of your breath and practicing before the big day is a good idea. You need to really give it some thought and give it a little time each day during the third trimester.
Sit down for at least 10 minutes a day and just take deep breaths and clear your mind. Maybe count as you breathe so you’ll have something specific to do if your stress or fear starts to take over.
The main take away here is to educate yourself with a Prenatal class, Set up a birthing plan, be fit and ready for the big day and have the right support in all four corners.
You’ll feel so much calmer and prepared if you take these simple steps.
I wish you all the luck in the world!
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You did it! You just had your baby and it was the most amazing thing you have ever experienced.
Now the moment you’ve been waiting for is here and they hand you your sweet baby. There really is nothing like it in the world.
The feelings physically and mentally are completely overwhelming and if you’re like me you will just cry for joy.
Must Read: What To Expect The First 24 Hours After Birth
And What To Expect The First Week Home With Baby
From your baby’s point of view, she just experienced the biggest event of her life thus far as well.
And all she wants is mama.
So what happens next and how can you make the most of it? This is what I want to talk about with you today.
By the way, this post contains affiliate links at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This helps me keep my blog up and running and I only list products that I love and have used myself.
The First Hour After Birth | How To Make The Most Of It
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An Undisturbed Hour Should Be The Goal
In the past, mother-child bonding often took a back seat to medical procedures immediately following a baby’s birth.
The baby would be passed from person to person before it finally reached mother’s arms.
They would bathe and weigh the baby, give it vitamin K drops and so on. Then they would swaddle the baby where he couldn’t even really move and hand him over.
This is not optimal for baby’s development in any way.
Want Freebies For You And Your Baby? Get $330 Worth Of Gear! I have partnered with many companies to give you the best baby freebies online including Nursing Pillow, Pregnancy Pillows, Nursing Covers, Baby Leggings, Baby Clothes and so much more. You can find out how to get your freebies in this post right here.
So What Should Come Next?
The first hour should be focused on baby’s first breastfeed and mother-baby and family bonding.
The baby should be placed on the mother skin to skin so he can make his way up to the breast naturally and attempt his first breastfeeding session.
There are nine stages right after birth that occur during this time and they are as follows:
- The Birth Cry is the first stage. Your baby will cry immediately after birth and his lungs will expand
- Once the baby stops crying the relaxation stage begins. The baby will relax his limbs for a moment and just rest
- The third stage is when the baby becomes more aware and begins to look around, moving the head and shoulders and he may move his mouth in a sucking motion
- The activity stage happens 8 to 10 minutes after birth and he begins to make more sucking motions with his mouth and he may demonstrate a rooting reflex
- Then the baby may rest more. He may rest in between any stage
- Then the baby will start the crawling stage where he finally starts making his way towards the breast
- The seventh stage is called familiarization. During this stage, the newborn becomes acquainted with the mother by licking the nipple and touching and massaging her breast
- After the baby has attempted nursing he may fall asleep. Sleeping usually occurs about 2 hours after birth
These stages should be accomplished in a natural way without interruption.
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Babies don’t want to be bathed and be handled by strangers right after birth. This is a stressful time and they want to relax and become acquainted face to face with their mama.
All mammals are like this. They all crawl towards mama and then attempt nursing. It’s natural and it’s what should always occur after the birth of our babies.
How Breastfeeding Right After Birth Helps
Skin-to-skin contact as well as the baby’s suckling at the breast release hormones that help the mother connect to her child and cause the uterus to contract and stop bleeding.
Research has also shown that nursing within the first hour of life improves infant survival rates and makes it more likely that a mother will continue to breastfeed longer.
Babies that are skin to skin are better able to regulate their body temperature and respiration. Newborns don’t have the fat to do this as well as older humans so this is very helpful.
Being with mama also reduces the risks of Low Blood Sugar ( hypoglycemia ).
You can let the hospital know that all this is very important to you by creating a birth plan. You can find a free birth plan template to download right here and that way everyone will be on the same page and know your expectations.
***Have You taken a prenatal birth course yet? Don’t have time? Here’s the best Premium online birthing course and the first part of it’s totally free! You will learn absolutely everything you need to know and it will help tremendously so make sure you sign up. A Class is a must and I think the online ones are the best. Here’s a free Birth Planner Too!
What Else Happens During The First Hour
Spending time with mama helps promote a healthy attachment between you and baby.
Oxytocin receptors in a woman’s brain increase during pregnancy, so when your babe is born, you will feel a strong love and attachment to her.
Oxytocin is also produced in large amounts when breastfeeding and holding babies close so this makes these feelings of bonding for both you and her even stronger.
Mothers who have these bonding experiences with their baby feel more confident and comfortable mothering later on.
Different Circumstances During Emergencies And C-Sections
Sometimes things don’t work out as planned.
If a baby needs medical attention or extra stimulation to start breathing, the child can be moved from the exam table to the mother’s chest as soon as the baby is stabilized.
If you need a C-Section, after a quick assessment, the baby can be moved to the mother’s chest while the obstetrician finishes taking care of you.
At this point, the baby can stay at her mother’s side until she is settled into the recovery room and ready to nurse.
So even during these circumstances, you can spend most of the first-hour bonding and creating the best possible situation for your baby. You may just be delayed by a few minutes.
The first hour is such an important time for you and your baby, so make the most out of it.
Your baby is stressed right after birth and there’s no need to make it worse by allowing the baby to be passed around for procedures that can wait a couple of hours.
Make it clear to the staff what you expect with your birthing plan so that you can do what’s best for your baby.
You’ll both enjoy the experience this way so much more.
Best of luck to you and your baby!
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